Dear Maria,

My husband’s driving makes me nervous. Sometimes he drives too fast, and gets impatient behind the wheel. He usually abides by traffic laws, but there’s one thing he does that really bothers me: He runs stop signs on side streets and in neighborhoods. If there are no other cars around, he figures he doesn’t need to stop, and no one will see him break the law. I’ve told him I don’t like it. He laughs it off and says I’m just a more cautious driver than he is. What can I do to help him see that this isn’t a good idea?


Driving Me Crazy

Dear Driving Me Crazy,

Has your daredevil husband never gotten a ticket for a traffic violation?! I have, and it’s incentive enough to follow the rules, even when it looks like I don’t have to. Maybe, in your husband’s case, he delights in getting away with something when he runs a stop sign. On one hand, it seems a harmless thrill. On the other, what if he doesn’t see a pedestrian who assumes drivers will obey a stop sign? For me, a more cautious driver like yourself, the risk isn’t worth it. I err on the side of safety, even if it means I get home a minute or two later.

You’ve tried talking to your husband about your concerns, but he laughs them off. Making your point depends on how far you want the situation to escalate. Do you refuse to ride with him? Insist that you drive when you go out together? Look out the passenger window when he pulls these stunts? Maybe your next move is a compromise. Rather than trying to change his mind about this, ask him to accommodate you when you ride together and stop at all stop signs, including the ones he deems unnecessary. Make this request before you get in the car with him, and not on your way out the door. Cooler heads will prevail with distance from the crime scene. Let’s hope he gets a ticket soon.

Men and their cars! I never thought a Sammy Hagar song would appear in my column, but here you go: