Momma Drama

By on May 20, 2008 in Moms | 1 comment

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My teenage daughter struggled through intense drama this week.  “Drama” is the term, I’ve learned, to describe the episodes of social turbulence that adolescents and high schoolers endure as they work their way toward graduation and adult life.  Unfortunately, some adults I’ve encountered are still stuck in this dramatic style of interacting…but that’s another conversation!

My thoughts today are with my daughter and how relieved I am that this current drama has reached its conclusion and amends have been made with her friend.  During the storm, I was fortunate to have my daughter share some of her feelings and struggles with me.  Through it all, I vacilated between wanting to fix the situation for her and letting her work it out on her own.  I’ve learned that I am most helpful to her, and make the strongest connection with her, when I simply listen and relate to her feelings, rather than telling her how to fix it or charging in to do the fixing myself.  She can figure out the right thing to do; she just needs help to get through the feelings and see her way to that right thing.  And, she needs to know I have confidence in her to do just that.

Last night at dinner, it was clear she was at peace through her kind interactions with her younger sister and her joining in to laugh with us around the table.  My own heart was relieved, too.  There’s a quote on another page of this blog from Elizabeth Stone that says being a mom is like having “your heart go walking around outside your body.”  I had shared, vicariously, in her pain.  Then, as the drama cloud lifted, we both experienced the blessed lightness of reconciliation and release.

1 Comment

  1. Karen Altland

    June 26, 2008

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    How I can relate to this, even though my daughter is 26, not a teenager! Speaking to her a couple of days ago of the frustration of dealing with the father of my granddaughter (not her husband), she was moved to tears….which for my daughter is no small feat! Right away I offered to fly to her aid by contacting the “other” grandmother in order to once more try and awaken her to her son’s selfish ways! My daughter’s answer was, “I can call her”. And, of course, I know she can and did; but even when our children are adults with adult issues (dramas), it’s so hard to not want to save them!!!

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