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Maria’s Musings & Advice: Blue January

By on Jan 13, 2017 in Advent and Christmas, Advice | 4 comments

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15078543_10207877727882687_9073753884834843778_nDear Maria,

I discovered this year that the holidays make me sad. I’m sad when they’re over, but this year I felt sad while there were going on, too. There were times I wished they were over. Now that they are, I don’t feel any better.

Signed,

Blue Christmas, Blue January

Dear Blue,

I get it. The holidays are a melancholy time for many adults. I don’t know your age, but I suspect you’ve lived long enough to have had some disappointing Christmases, and have lost some people who were part of good Christmases Past. The songs tell us, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” but it’s also stressful, exhausting, and expensive. Things don’t go as planned, weather interferes, people drink too much, we find we have nothing to say to relatives, and we wind up with more stuff in our already cluttered houses. After a while, “God, get me through this!” becomes our mantra. Then, we’re relieved to turn the calendar page, everyone goes back to ordinary time, but we’re left with cold and dark days without the lights and music to lift our hearts, even a bit. I get it.

I have some ideas to manage the January blues, and I invite our readers to comment with what works for them. Here goes:

Looking back:

Looking ahead:

The holiday season conjures up expectations, then holds up a stark mirror, revealing how our reality meets these expectations, and how it falls short. We’re reminded of the passing of time, how people change and leave and surprise us. Think of how you’d respond to a good friend, or your child, who comes to you and says, “I’m sad.” Poor response: “Get over it.” Better response: “We’ll sit here, together, till the sadness lifts.” Talk to yourself, and do for yourself, what you’d like those you love to do for you. Hang in there. The season will come ‘round again, and you’ll be better for it.

 

In a quandary? Life got you down? Need some perspective? If you’d like to submit a question, click here. Let’s hear from you, or “for a friend.” Please add your thoughts, and suggestions in the comments section, below. 

Disclaimer: The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.  This column, its author, and the publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions. We reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity, and all comments are moderated.

4 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    January 15, 2017

    Post a Reply

    Thanks for sharing.  Holidays and after are truly emotional times! 

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