It comes around

By on Oct 29, 2008 in Maria's Blog | 1 comment

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Yesterday I reconnected with a friend from high school, someone I fell out of touch with and hadn’t seen in maybe 10 years.  Ouch!

Her reappearance in my life brought to mind all the laughter and heartache we shared in our friendship.  I talked with my now high school age daughter about it, and the significance of the reconnection was a bit lost on her.  She did marvel at how this would come around, again, after all these years.  Sometimes I think she sees me as downright ancient!

Remembering the challenges of growing up, I’ve often wished I could download my experiences into my children’s minds and hearts.  It’s a variation on the old saying, “If I’d known then what I know now,” only this time I want my daughter to benefit from the learnings.  It might save her some heartache.  Plus, it’d be great to see her starting point be the summit I worked so hard to reach.  Just imagine how far she’d go!

But, try as I might, she doesn’t listen to much advice in advance.  She does confide in me on many things, and for that I am grateful.  So, I have learned to do more listening than advising.  In that listening, I love her more purely than in any moment of unsolicited advice.  And by giving me the opportunity to love her that way, she helps me be my best self.

1 Comment

  1. Susan M. Heim

    November 17, 2008

    Post a Reply

    This is such a hard lesson for parents to learn! My husband always gets frustrated by this. He tries to impart certain lessons to our teenagers to help them avoid some of the mistakes and pain that we went through, but they don’t seem to be very receptive at times to hearing what we have to say. Unfortunately, our kids will have to learn the same way that we did — through their mistakes! But it’s so natural as parents to want to spare our children that pain or wasted time. The good news is that lessons stick better when we figure them out for ourselves. And that is, I’m sure, what will happen with our children.

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